“Smile in the mirror. Do that every morning and you’ll start to see a big difference in your life.”
A long time ago my dear friend Abigail asked me why I was never smiling in the pictures.
At first I didn’t understand what she meant because I was actually smiling ,so she said :”you need to show your teeth to really smile”!
I told her that I never did because of my “vampire tooth “,(so called by my daughters).
Basically my left canine is quite pronounced,a kind of family signature,and I have always been very aware of it.
Honestly it can be very anti aesthetic.
So once I gave her my explanation she looked at me and just spat on my face hat it was all bullshitt (can I say that?.?..): I had a beautiful contagious smile and must show it.
This was the start of long series of pictures where I smile and I laugh,open mouth.
Since then I always smile and laugh showing my teeth and my pictures are much better.I might not be the most photogenic subject but I look happy and that makes me feel happy.
It is funny how laughing and smiling is now one of the most characteristic tracts of my personality.
I became more extroverted and all started from an imposed smile…….that slowly grew inside me!!!
This is why when I saw the above quote from Yoko Ono,I thought :”that is damned true!!! And worth a try…”…….and so I did.
Well, first few days ,you feel a bit dull and it is not really the most natural thing to do first thing in the morning ,but as days pass ,that smile that is reflected back to you is comforting and starts talking to you.
It is a smile that gives you peace.
A smile that becomes a state of mind.
A smile that reminds you every morning how lucky you are.
A smile that reminds you every morning that there is always a reason to smile in your life,no matter what.
A smile that ,even in the worst days, will tell you ,you can make it through.You are strong enough .
Thank you Abigail and Yoko Ono.
I am not sure I really have writing habits,yet.
All day long I take mentally notes about what I feel and what I do but only in the morning I sit down at the desk in our home office and write.
A nice hot cup of coffee to keep me going and my dogs snoring at my feet to keep me company.
I like this little room ,it’s cosy and warm .It s a room to work,to produce.
Sometimes ,unfortunately,the time during the day is very tight so I write in the evening ,in bed.This is a setting that I particularly enjoy because it brings me totally out of reality.
My bedroom has always been my space,the only room in the house to be only mine ,(and my husband of course).No kids allowed.
Despite the fact I am tired, I noticed that when I start writing in the evening I completely loose track of time and sometime I keep going until my eyes shut defeated by tiredness .
Despite the fact that “Alice in Wonderland ” has never been one of my favourite story when I was a child, I love the above quote.
It is a short sentence that perfectly summarise the solution to most of human ‘s torments.
Just think about how much time we spend, (or should I say “we waste”)thinking about our past.
How many times do we wish we had taken different decisions?made different choices?done things differently?
Unfortunately all this is of pointless.
We can analyse our past as much as we can but it won’t make a difference to our present or to our future .
What is done is done,knowing why is of no use; only thing we can do ,is cope with that,face the consequences,trying to see a positive side.
We shape ourself through our experiences: what we were yesterday is not what we are today ;what we are today is not what we will be tomorrow.
Whatever choice we make must be contextualised in that very same moment we make it.
Regretting the past is an enormous waste of time because the person regretting the past is not the same person who made that past.
We can’t go back in time, we can’t justify the present with the past,we can’t change the present through the past.
Whatever decision we made in the past was justify by events and states of mind that for sure are very different from the current ones.
Stop living in the past.
Stop filling our heads with” what if……” or ” if only…..”
Past is the key to nothing.
Live the present!!!
It's funny how when I think about home I think about my home;the home where I live with my own family ,but if I think at the smell of home I think at the smell of old freshly varnished wood of the house where I grew up: I think about my parents ' house .
The very same house I called home for a long time even after I moved out and even after moving abroad.
For few good years, in fact, I used to say :I'm going back home", when visiting my country of origin.
Now I don't go home anymore,I go to my parents' house, visiting or holidaying and then I come back home.
You are probably thinking ,"fair enough", "this is absolutely normal", and it is !but pay attention at the words: my "home"; their " house", and this is probably not fair enough. Isn't other people entitled to have a home? It might not be home for me anymore ,but sure it is for my parents.
It is just me, unconsciously calling other people home "house" or is it a common thing to do in order to make our own home unique?
Most probably , it is something we do , being completely oblivious to the hidden meaning.
If we are lucky enough to call a place " home ",in fact, we don't need to make it unique because it is already the most special place in the world!!!
What do I like?
I like reading,good movies,good tv dramas,I like clothes and accessories (not necessarily expensive).i like talking with my good friends ,I like doing my yoga on my own and I like new things.
I'm curious and I am greedy of new experiences despite the fact sometimes it is very hard pushing myself behind my safe comfort zone,
I nearly forgot, I like coffee and I like cake and cheese……..but sometimes I wish I wouldn't….. because I wouldn't be much slimmer😜
What did I learn?
I learned not to judge by the cover.
I learned that we are what we are and there is nothing we can't do about it……our nature can't change,must not change ,in the same way we can't ask the ones around us to change.Acceptance is the key.
I learned I have limits…..lots of limits .
I learned hard work always pays back,even if at long term.
I learned not to be afraid of showing what I am
I learned sometimes you just must be happy with what you have cause you can't have more.
What I wish
I wish to stay healthy
I wish the ones I love to stay healthy
I wish to always have a happy life with my family
I wish my blog good
Things I am good at
I am good at listening
I am good at organising day by day life.(probably to balance the traffic jam of thoughts and emotions in my head)
I am good at baking
I am good at taking care of people…..I know it is a bit presumptuous of me to say but I have got good feedbacks over the years
I am good at writing?
I am good at judging characters,most of the time.
A such vast answer for a such simple question.I write because I like it and because I need it.It soothes me and when I start I find difficult to stop.It is like the pen is a calamite for my thoughts.
When I was a kid I used to write short stories and so I did on my early twenties then I stopped but please don’t ask me why ,because I don’t have an answer to that.I just stopped!
I started again few years back when in therapy as I ve been suggested to keep a diary and since then I never stopped again.
Therapy is over,diary is not written regularly anymore but I kept the habit to write down my thoughts,my feelings,what is happening and from there I started to pay more attention at what was going on around me,even the odours,the colours and started to feel the urge to write down what I was seeing and what I was feeling.
I never really dared to publish anything in the fear of not being interested enough but may be now it’s time to overcome this fear of the world judgement:Every feeling,every sensation,every point of view is interested enough ,at least for someone or….,this way it should be.