Why” truly madly ordinary”?
First of all to honour one of my favourite writer,and one among you who reads her knows exactly what I am talking about.
Second of all because it is a title that does describe quite well what I am…..or I think I am,but I am not alone…..and that ,it is something I am pretty sure about!!!
“Ordinary “is a word who always terrified me,in particular when I was a young ,idealist,highly opinionated girl ,still living by those values I was feeding myself through Baudelaire,Kant,Allan Poe,Oscar Wilde,Kerouac and so on.
And I was convinced my life would have never been “ordinary “…….I was going to do something with it!But this was then….before I grew up,before I actually throw myself in the real word. That world made of interviews,jobs,bills to be paid,a husband ,kids,dogs,gold fishes and without even realising it I was living an ordinary life ,or I thought I was,and so “ordinary” was not a terrifying word anymore:it was the most depressing word of all!!!
Me it was not Me anymore.
I suddenly realised I turned into a person I didn’t want to be so thanks to some good friends ,and a good therapist ,I drop the mask.
Best thing ever done!!!
“Ordinary ” was now only a word ,unless I was giving it the power to poison my soul.
“Ordinary”,and I am convinced of that now, is a state of mind we trap ourself in,because we are too hard on ourself,too self demanding,we constantly compare ourself to someone more successful then us .
What we should instead be doing is start looking at our own existence from outside,so to see that “WE” are the successful one other people compare themselves to!
Looking at ourselves as a third party and without all those absurd demands we constantly stress ourselves with , will eventually make us to acknowledge all those little peculiarities making our lives not ordinary ,according with the “bad” meaning the word is currently associated to ,but Truly Madly Uniquely Ordinary.
On the plane going on holidays.
This is my first time writing on a plane.
I usually read ( I love reading always being my way to escape from everybody and everything also,I have a tendency to bond with the characters,bringing them in my life exactly like they bring me into theirs.)
If I don't read ,I stuck my headphone on and look around checking out the other passengers trying to find out what is their story.
This is a little game that goes far back to my childhood .
Every time I was at the restaurant or in some public place (on a train,queuing at some museum ……)with mother we used to pick a group of person and guess what was the story between them: were they husband and wife?were they a family? Were they a clandestine couple enjoying their affair or just some friends hanging out?
When we go out together,me and my mom,we still do it sometime but not that often anymore but it is so eradicated in me that I do it by myself sometimes.
Sometimes I try to get an accomplice in my husband but ,he , is definitely not into it.
Hey, but my daughter is ,and she is a natural at it!!!
I flew them both to their grandparents few weeks ago and while queueing to board here she was whispering to me to check out some passengers so that she could tell me their story!
May be it is genetical!?!
Well that said, today plane was atrociously boring : really obvious couples,happy canonic families and a very loud group of student going back home until…. here they are :a man and a woman,middle age and very good looking,both of them.
They look like a couple but there was something odd about them…..
May be they just met,except you are not that tactile when you just met .
They were tactile with each other but at the same time there was a lack of ……intimacy?no that's not the right word, actually there was a lack of complicity.
They obviously knew themselves well enough to hug and touch and kiss but not enough to "predict" one an other what they were saying( and I think whoever is in a relationship,weather is work or not knows exactly what I mean) ,there was a lack of those daily gestures long term couple automatically do.So I was a puzzled .
They had all my attention .
I observed them better,closely,listen at them ,(for what I could of course).
Now I was sure they were not really together……
Well ,plane landed and the man jumped on his feet to get the cabin luggage ,already with his phone in hand turned on. He turned to woman and said:"my wife is picking me up,don't come out straight after me" and went.
I was right! Years of practise paid out!
I know I said see you tomorrow but just a brief pre bed time suggestion:the above book is great!
I have always been skeptical about adults colouring book but this one is different.There are notes from the author and spaces for the readers to write down their own feelings,thoughts ,experiences.
I admit She(the author )is a bit extreme and you are supposed to suffer from anxiety to enjoy the whole thing but …hey,I don't suffer from anxiety and I loved it!!!
Unless panic attacks qualify as anxiety because then….yes …I have been there few times.Long gone now….thanks God cause I still remember trying to explain to my mathematician husband ,(for whom everything must be even and square),why on heart took me over an hour to get home through the same rout that usually took me 20/25 minutes………
The poor man ,probably he secretly had a panic attack himself trying to understand what was going on in his wife head……
Now it is really everything for today
Ok, now this is something completely new for me and ,to be honest,I haven't a clue where to start 😳so probably now you are wondering why I'm doing it or just thinking I am fecking boring already 😱and may be I am ,may be this is already a too long introduction so let's cut the bullshit and go straight to the point:I decided to start a blog about everyday life ,everyday problems ,basically about everyday normal ordinary people ……women mostly (because obviously I am one of those but of course men are welcome too…..I bet there are lots of ordinary psycho men too in the world😎)
A blog where truly madly ordinary people can let the steam out ,talk ,discuss.
Lets see how it goes
Hope I see you tomorrow