Just an evening thought

The girls had their dinner early tonight so myself and my husband had ours late on the balcony ,eventually enjoying some fresh air after days of torrid weather.
We finished now and he went inside to watch some television.
I am still here browsing around on my iPad.
No! actually, I am checking my blog ,still disappointed by its low success rate,but then I say to myself that it's only early days,plus I admit it myself my writing skills are a bit rusty and so is my capacity of open up.
But I am happy I started it, I am happy I am writing again.
It might not be that much interesting to others but this blog is good to me. I need to keep it up.
I need to keep it running ,because when it is all there ,written down ,everything seems better ,easier : my brain is busy,my mind is distracted ,my soul is at peace.

A non ordinary day at the beach

It started like an ordinary day at the beach.

Kids happily making sand castles or having fun in the sea ,diving into the waves.Mothers busy chasing the little ones to top up their suncream .Dads checking their phones for the latest news or reading under the parasols.Young couple holding their hands while sunbathing ,totally careless of the heat, too in love to care about their body sweaty and sticky.Groups of elderly,with their white hats to protect them from the sun,playing cards and pretending to get upset when loosing a game.

I am lying down ,my head under the shadow ,only my legs exposed to the sun, shining in the sky like a ball of fire.I fell asleep while reading but suddenly I am brought back to awareness by my daughters giggling and pulling my arm as I was allegedly snoring.Embarrassed I quickly sit straight and look around, to check who could have heard me but everybody seems too busy with their phones,books,naps…..to care about my snoring: "pew" but also "who cares.."……I am on holidays.

It is now nearly 5 o' clock,time for an other swim when we hear a thunder barking in from far away and then an other one and an other one.

By instinct I lift my head up ,to the sky.We see black clouds travel at high speed.

The sun is covered,the light is gone.It is suddenly night time.The marine breeze is now heavy wind.

The whole beach is set in motion :everybody starts packing their belongings ready to go home before the rain comes .

A scream, from a non identified directions and everybody freeze.At first I don't understand what is going on but then I turned around and I see: A cone made of wind and water is rising in the middle of the sea.

My daughters are petrified by what they are seeing.To them,tornados exist only in the books.They hug myself and their father not sure what they should do:fascination and fear is what I see in their eyes,in their expressions.

I want to leave but at the same time I want to see what's next.It is the first time I see something like that so closely .

At the horizon there is nothing to separate the see and sky but this monster made threatening coming toward us.

I know I have to start moving,packing and go home but I am paralysed .i can't move and I can't stop watching.The life guards are securing the beach and forcing everyone to leave.

We are home.Showered and changed on the balcony looking at the sky turning back to his light blue colour .

The rain stopped,the tree are naked after being shacked so vigorously.The roads are white covered in ice stones that are melting already.

The storm has passed,everything is back to normal :ready for an other ordinary day at the beach.  

Everyday inspirations:”I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.” – Lewis Carroll

Despite the fact that “Alice in Wonderland ” has never been one of my favourite story when I was a child, I love the above quote.
It is a short sentence that perfectly summarise the solution to most of human ‘s torments.
Just think about how much time we spend, (or should I say “we waste”)thinking about our past.
How many times do we wish we had taken different decisions?made different choices?done things differently?
Unfortunately all this is of pointless.
We can analyse our past as much as we can but it won’t make a difference to our present or to our future .
What is done is done,knowing why is of no use; only thing we can do ,is cope with that,face the consequences,trying to see a positive side.
We shape ourself through our experiences: what we were yesterday is not what we are today ;what we are today is not what we will be tomorrow.
Whatever choice we make must be contextualised in that very same moment we make it.
Regretting the past is an enormous waste of time because the person regretting the past is not the same person who made that past.
We can’t go back in time, we can’t justify the present with the past,we can’t change the present through the past.
Whatever decision we made in the past was justify by events and states of mind that for sure are very different from the current ones.
Stop living in the past.
Stop filling our heads with” what if……” or ” if only…..”
Past is the key to nothing.
Live the present!!!

A midsummer day dream

After being in Florence all morning and desperate to find some relief from the heat and the crowd that was overflowing streets and monuments,we drove up to a little village sitting on the hills overlooking Florence:Fiesole
The view from up there was amazing and the breeze a gift from the sky .
We went to the Egyptian and Roman museum and to see the rests of the roman theatre.
My husband and daughters went to see the gardens while I waited sitting on those steps that once were the seats from where the crowd cherished the gladiators or enjoyed the performances of the most famous actors playing Gods and Goddesses orchestrating the lives of the mortals.
I don't know how long I was there but long enough for me to let that magic place bring me back in the past and there I was,back in the time when the Roman Empire was still ruling half of the known world.
There I was ,on the stage ,playing in a Greek tragedy .
My face framed by purple red curls.
My body wrapped in a white tunic .
My arms adorned with gold bangles shaped like snake with emeralds as eyes .
I am acting and I am dancing and singing and the spectators are enchanted by my performance.
Their mouths slightly open in disbelief waiting to know what is gonna happen next:will Proserpina,the Goddess of hell ,kidnapped by Plutone,King of Ade ,free herself?
Yes, Giove will free her and the voices of other tourists will free me,bringing me back to present.
I get up and start climbing the stairs to leave but not before turning and giving last look at the stage, last wave at the public, last bow.

Every day inspirations: Home

It's funny how when I think about home I think about my home;the home where I live with my own family ,but if I think at the smell of home I think at the smell of old freshly varnished wood of the house where I grew up: I think about my parents ' house .
The very same house I called home for a long time even after I moved out and even after moving abroad.
For few good years, in fact, I used to say :I'm going back home", when visiting my country of origin.
Now I don't go home anymore,I go to my parents' house, visiting or holidaying and then I come back home.
You are probably thinking ,"fair enough", "this is absolutely normal", and it is !but pay attention at the words: my "home"; their " house", and this is probably not fair enough. Isn't other people entitled to have a home? It might not be home for me anymore ,but sure it is for my parents.
It is just me, unconsciously calling other people home "house" or is it a common thing to do in order to make our own home unique?
Most probably , it is something we do , being completely oblivious to the hidden meaning.
If we are lucky enough to call a place " home ",in fact, we don't need to make it unique because it is already the most special place in the world!!!

Every day inspirations

What do I like?
I like reading,good movies,good tv dramas,I like clothes and accessories (not necessarily expensive).i like talking with my good friends ,I like doing my yoga on my own and I like new things.
I'm curious and I am greedy of new experiences despite the fact sometimes it is very hard pushing myself behind my safe comfort zone,
I nearly forgot, I like coffee and I like cake and cheese……..but sometimes I wish I wouldn't….. because I wouldn't be much slimmer😜
What did I learn?
I learned not to judge by the cover.
I learned that we are what we are and there is nothing we can't do about it……our nature can't change,must not change ,in the same way we can't ask the ones around us to change.Acceptance is the key.
I learned I have limits…..lots of limits .
I learned hard work always pays back,even if at long term.
I learned not to be afraid of showing what I am
I learned sometimes you just must be happy with what you have cause you can't have more.
What I wish
I wish to stay healthy
I wish the ones I love to stay healthy
I wish to always have a happy life with my family
I wish my blog good
Things I am good at
I am good at listening
I am good at organising day by day life.(probably to balance the traffic jam of thoughts and emotions in my head)
I am good at baking
I am good at taking care of people…..I know it is a bit presumptuous of me to say but I have got good feedbacks over the years
I am good at writing?
I am good at judging characters,most of the time.

The road inside the road

8.45am,we are on the bus to go collecting our rental car and then heading to Tuscany.
Girls are very excited,looking forward to see the leaning tower.
My husband already got stressed because we were slightly late leaving the house to fetch the bus and once at the station there was a long queue for tickets and obviously only one till open(this is Italy!!!) .
We eventually made it to the bus .
He relaxed , I am insisting I want a "slow" holiday.
I am watching out of the window.
I did this road many many times over the years but this morning it looks like a route I have never taken,a road I have never driven through,a landscape I have never seen before.
Is it because is the first time on the bus and I can see everything from a higher point of view or is it just my eyes, my mind ,my soul seeing things from a different ,higher, point of view???!!???
The countryside is still very green for being August. Despite the heat wave of the last few weeks the sun didn't burn the grass on the fields yet.
The orchards are showing their fruits and the river we are driving along never seemed so wide to me.
I am enchanted by his colour ,by the way it flows.
The light breeze makes It look like a big snake silently crawling toward its prey ,and ,here the prey comes, when the river join with the Venetian lagoon .
The snake has been fed,it is double its size now and the view in front of my eyes is spectacular !

Because I write……????

A such vast answer for a such simple question.I write because I like it and because I need it.It soothes me and when I start I find difficult to stop.It is like the pen is a calamite for my thoughts.

When I was a kid I used to write short stories and so I did on my early twenties then I stopped but please don’t ask me why ,because I don’t have an answer to that.I just stopped!

I started again few years back when in therapy as I ve been suggested to keep a diary and since then I never stopped again.

Therapy is over,diary is not written regularly anymore but I kept the habit to write down my thoughts,my feelings,what is happening and from there I started to pay more attention at what was going on around me,even the odours,the colours and started to feel the urge to write down what I was seeing and what I was feeling.

I never really dared to publish anything in the fear of not being interested enough but may be now it’s time to overcome this fear of the world judgement:Every feeling,every sensation,every point of view is interested enough ,at least for someone or….,this way it should be.

N.5 :The hardest.
Who knows me also knows I come as a pack with my dogs and my overthinking.
It is just sometime the overthinking is exhausting………….

Little big ordinary things

Looking from behind my husband and daughters going into the sea for a swim .

The beach is quiet,the sea is calm,the sun is still up and shining and I feel so peaceful and content.

Sometime we really don’t value enough the power of the little things and we spend so many time complaining about those that make us miserable that we don’t see the ones that scream:”you are blessed by life”