Taking Off

The airport is packed,the passport control queue is a long human snake whose body is splitting in different directions.

I am selected for a swab control.A random check they say, but I’m starting to think it is not random at all as it looks like I’m always that person who is randomly picked to have her hands and feet swabbed and her cabin bag opened.May be I have a suspicious face, or may be instead I am evidently not a trouble makers so they are sure I won’t complain.

We made it through the first line of controls and we are ready to approach the USA preclearance.Due to its privileged relationship with The White House, Ireland is the only European country whose main airport had an American custom in it.The basement of the Dublin Airport is basically United States of America’ s territory.It is a burden to have to arrive at the airport three hours prior your flight to go through all the security checks, but at least when you land you have nothing to do but to collect your bag and go living the American dream.

Because as more time you spend with someone and as more alike you become,I suspect the traveling husband had started to inherit my angelic not trouble maker face,or my suspicious potentially ordinary half housewife and half drug dealer aspect…who knows!Because of this alleged resemblance ,in fact,he is being picked for an extra random check by the American police.

The poor man and his back pack have been turned inside out and meticulously inspected,but at the end he is cleared off.

We eventually approach the last check step:showing the passports and being interrogated about the reason and the details of our trip.We had all our answers prepared and straight and just when we are ready to proceed to the gate, the officer asks:”any special occasions for the trip?”.

“No”,says with a dry tone the traveling husband.I start giggling and he starts looking at me in clear fear of what it was possibly crossing my mind and terrified that I could say it out loud,as I do:”Actually” ,I say “there is an occasion. We are going away kids free for the first time in 12 years”.

The blood went back running through the traveling husband face,He smiles and nods and the officers stamps our passports.

Without even realizing it,we are leaving on the same day that,twelve years ago,we went cruising around the Scandinavian countries for the last time just the two of us.Actually,daughter number one was on her way but as she was still few months away to arrive,it still counts as a kids free holiday.

(To be totally honest,there was a little trip to Paris few years ago but it was a business trip and totally by the chance I joined the traveling husband so it doesn’t really count.)

Back to today, we are now comfortable sitting and sipping coffee while waiting to board our flight to Boston.

To make our consciences happy we rang the girls who doesn’t hide their disappointment to not be coming with us.What they don’t understand is that if they were coming there was not really any point for us to go ! Mean,I know,but life is not always fair right?

After speaking with them I speak with my mom.Nona tends to be slightly apprehensive at times,and so after wishing us a safe flight she reminds me to leave a written note with specified who is going to look after the girls in case something happens.

“You know dear,of course nothing is gonna happen and I can’t even want to say or think about this things, but as you are both going away you better make clear who the girls will go to live with”. Basically she wants to be sure it is her and not the other granny.

“Of course…“,I say throwing myself full weight on the first piece of wood I see and trying touching it with every part of my body while,and at the same time,signaling the traveling husband to discretely do what men usually do when they have to be scaramantic.When I am done rubbing the wood around me,I confirm to her that she is gonna be the one taking care of the girls as she is the younger granny and the one with the closest relationship with them.She is happy and I am happy because an other grannies war is avoided.

The flight was smooth and safe but It didn’t lack of entertainment thanks to the guy sitting behind us.An heavenly tattooed old man,with a loud voice and a large variety of green and blu pills whose side effect had obviously to do with either his intestine or his prostate considering the number of trips to bathroom he made during the flight and the length of his staying.Our row was fortunately more quiet but not less interesting.While the traveling was in his private world thanks to his noise eliminator headphone,I had an interesting chat with the guy sitting beside me.He was a folkloristic teacher at the Auberdin University. He was writing an article about a local rapper and when he was told I was Italian he asked if I would read and record on his phone a Dante’ s poem.The connection between Scottish folklore,rappers and Dante ,is still obscure to me but I happily accepted to gain my few minutes of fame on you tube.

P.s

I forecast I will be busy enjoying Boston and surrounding in the next few day and so I apology in advance if I won’t much responsive with all my WP friends.

I will catch up.



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58 replies

  1. “…not the other granny.” Brilliant. happy holidays

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I wish we were in the Northeast and could meet you. Hope you have a marvelous trip.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I wish I was in Boston to meet you! Why swab your hands though? I’ve never heard of that!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Have a nice and fun vacation!😊

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Have a fantastic time, we’ll still be here!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Enjoy yourself and have a great time!
    This post was great and humorous. And, I know how irritating those extra checks and opening bags in the airport can be.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Welcome to the United States. Is this your first trip to the States? Sometimes they swab your hands to check for gunpowder or explosive residue (at least that what they have told me when my hands have been swabbed.) Hope you have a great visit. Pat

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Granny wars! 😀 Have a great time!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Glad to hear you two had a good flight. The ordeal you went through is exactly why I don’t fly. Enjoy your time here. I love the way you tell a story.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Enjoy!…..have a great trip

    Like

  11. Hey!! Ortensia is in the States?!? I’m thinking Texas is on your way home? Lol I sure hope you enjoy your trip!

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Haha… I will be looking for you on Youtube.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I’m just catching up on WP and I was happy to hear that we were so near each other geographically. I don’t know why, but it’s a warm and fuzzy feeling 🙂 I’m so happy that you had a great getaway. Back to Italy and the fighting grannies! My heart goes out to you!

    Like

  14. Perfect vacations just started 🙂 can imagine all the stories (fun) we’ll be reading in the next 12 years 🙂

    Like

  15. No need to reply – just enjoy your kid free vacation! Hope the return trip is smoother 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Fun story 🙂 I always seem to be selected for that “random” security check too. I think it’s because I have a beard 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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    Like

  18. I didn’t know that Ireland 🇮🇪 had such a special relationship with the United States 🇺🇸 that there is pre-clearance at the Dublin Airport.

    Must go back to the days when JFK was President.

    So what are you, Ortensia, non-trouble maker or drug dealer? 😂

    As Daniel and I have both noted, my blog is being read by DARPA and various intelligence agencies around the world.

    Maybe U.S. officials read the blog where I had your dog Kurt triumph over the head of DARPA (the man whose code name is Enema Enigma) in the finals of an all you can eat cheese 🧀 eating contest in Dublin.

    Enema Enigma required a massive enigmatic enema after that loss.

    Perhaps that’s why you’ve been red flagged for U.S. entry. 😂

    Liked by 1 person

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