Out of the four days I have been in Italy I spent the first three walking around in a zombie slow motion status because of the amount of painkiller I ingested in the attempt of making my headache go away. I overheated, my blood pressure touched the sky and when I eventually got used to the weather it was time to leave.
I left Ireland with the intention to read and write, at least in the evening.Of course it didn’t happen because my brain was too drugged to engage in any extra activity, and also I have been trapped in a hectic and tight schedule. I got to meet relatives from all sides of the family and the in-laws too. Precisely like expected, in fact, the battle of the grannies started from day one. Never mind the girls will be there two weeks on their own now and another three in August with the travelling husband and me: Both grandmothers must have them now and pronto!.
My only aim was trying to stay out of the territorial conflict long enough to make it back to Ireland.Once I am back home, how the girls spend their time is not my problem anymore: the maternal and paternal grandmother will have to sort it out themselves. In the meanwhile,the best and painless solution I managed to come up with, it was that the girls would stay Sunday and Monday with the maternal grandparents and Tuesday and Wednesday with the paternal ones. Unfortunately, doing my best was not enough.It turned out that at my mother’s house we arrived Saturday night and so,technically,the children have been there three days. Sunday morning when I got up and switched on my mobile phone there were already few voicemail messages from my mother in law who,with absolutely no desire of pressuring me, suggested the girls stayed with her until Thursday:Par Condicio! Feeling absolutely no pressure, I agreed.
In fairness, the plan was not too bad, and I could see my grandparents and still have plenty of time alone with my mom. What I didn’t really consider it was that being already the third full day we were living under the same roof it started to be difficult for both of us to hold our tongues, but here it is when the absurd hot weather comes to some utility: nobody has enough breath to argue with 35 degrees and the 75%of humidity.Thinking back, I should have argued against the idea of having lunch at the beach, but once again all my energies were focused on fighting the heat.
Like a diva from the fifties,here I am removing my kaftan and unveiling my new black tankini embroidered with flowers.Happy and proud I go for a swim and everything was perfect,until I stepped out of the sea.Once out of the water the object of such pride and joy it transformed itself in a superpower heat generator and me in a walking sauna. Wearing that thing and being wrapped in foil would have been the same. I tried to be the usual optimistic me and looking at the positive side of the situation: a day like that and the unwanted belly fat would have melted away, leaving me with the most amazing flat stomach.Great!!!For a while I indeed nourished this idea and also positioned myself out of the parasol shadow and directly under the sunlight.I didn’t last long, and when I thought I could see smoke coming out from my abdomen through the bath suit, I just stripped off that infernal piece of torture and slipped into my good old bikini. Shamefully I must admit that my vanity is not as strong as I thought, and neither is my will of a flat stomach.
Despite it all, these four days have been overall beneficial, and some life lesson has been learned. First of all, there is no point to waste time rubbing sticks to start a fire: wearing a tankini under the early afternoon summer sun will give you the same result. Second, there is no point wasting too much energy trying to accommodate your mother in law:You can’t win! On Wednesday morning, in fact, I have been asked to go and get the girls already as they were getting bored, and their grandma was getting tired.