The wait,the anticipation,the preparation:I always find them the best part of any event.Christmas is no exception and now is gone.So much effort and so much time spent and everything is gone in few hours.Well that is the same for birthdays and any other occasion.I can’t help but feeling a bit…..empty.I shouldn’t actually as I am still on holidays,(for obvious reasons the Christmas holidays run the whole length of the school holidays for me),plus there is still New Year to come and the Epiphany. The night between the fifth and the sixth of January is hugely celebrated in Italy,in particular in the north of the country where I come from.In my home land it is an intere pagan celebration,nothing related to the arrival of the three kings.I am nearly ashamed to say that I actually associated very late that the Epiphany to its religious meaning.To me was the day of “the befana”,but this is material for another post.
Back to these days,I feel like in a limbo.The days between Christmas and New Year are just days “in between”.These days are not proper holidays as the outside world is back to business and the traveling husband is back to work but,they are not normal days either as I am still off routine.I am like a ghost floating from room to room,impatiently waiting for the next day the rest of the world will pause and join me.Thankfully I only have to wait today and tomorrow and then it will be week end again.Then it will be New Year’s Eve and then it will be New Year’s day.Actually there are plenty of anticipation to live and preparations to do.”What are you complaining about woman”,I find myself silently shouting at myself.The wise inner voice is talking to me with no patience or will to understand left:”You are not indulging yourself in the so called Christmas blues,do you?”,I am authoritary asked.”Am I?”,I ask myself.I genuinely don’t think so!I refuse the idea of the so called Christmas blues. I think is more laziness mixed with too much free time in my hands that I am not used to have and, lets face it, I am using very poorly.Time to get back on the saddle. New Year’s Eve party is in three days and there is still lots of preparations to do.Excitement to feel and anticipation to enjoy.Eventually for the first time since last friday the antarctic car is back on the road.That is what I am driving today,not my regular car.There is no resemblance to my old red fiery car,exception made for the red nose and the antlers.It is white ,covered in frost for days.I wonder when it will get back to its natural color,may be at the end of the christmas holidays:it would make sense after all.Supermarket,a walk on the beach,(very brief because is freezing)and a nice drive around.Me and the girls love to drive around our countryside looking for christmas lights.
The always green landscape is today covered by a layer of sparkling silver white.The sky is clear and deep blue,only few clouds scattered around more for a decorative purpose then else.The sun,this morning shining in all its presumption, is now gradually losing his luminous yellow skin.It is discoloring and turning into a pale yellowy round face determined to guard over the hearth as long as it can.Not very long at this time of the year.Its fall has already started.Its destiny is written into the book of winter:it will soon disappear behind grandmother moon. The hills have their tops white,hard to say if it is snow or just frost that our friend Jack left there perpetually in the last few days.The sea is a greyish green.It does not merge with the sky in one big block of colour,not today.Today the line dividing the two of them is net,sharp.On the road,the ruined and at trait missing tarmac, is a ice sheet .I am driving carefully.I know how insidious these countryside roads can be,disseminated with hidden black holes and concealed ice patches.I suppose it is a part of the fascinating landscape.
It is nearly three in the afternoon and we haven’t had lunch yet.We stop at the coffee shop for gingerbread lattes and toasts.
Our souls and bellies have been filled with carefree joy.Happy go lucky we are, back in the car.Singing “santa baby”with Kylie Minogue,we are heading home.Two girls in the back with the giant dog in the middle and the little dog in the front passenger seat,her privilege for being the eldest of my “kids”.
Do I still feel empty?Not at all. Do I still feel in a limbo? Yes indeed:the limbo of the privileged.Privileged to be able to understand the luxury of the little simple things life brings me every day as the biggest of the gift.Privileged to be able to see “The Extraordinary of the Ordinary” that is all around me.