Half an hour on my on and in the silence since ….when……?3 weeks?I am sitting inside my car waiting for CG to finish her fiddle lesson.It is been 2 days I am trying to write something but it was too late at night and Orfeo had the best over me .Monday we took it easy but then I had to catch with everything I planned to do last week but,for obvious reasons ,I didn’t.
I have been like a spinning top all week :inside the house and out.So many things to do and not so much time.The traveling husband is not a too bad patient but he is a patient.He need care.He needs to be fed and not only at dinner time but at lunch time too.I won’t hide this is highly destabilizing my routine.I swear I will complaint no more about the hassle of preparing lunch boxes for the three of them every day.No,I am actually joking:I will still moan about it.It is a task that I diligently perform Monday to Friday but some days I would rather shoot myself in my feet then doing it.Or that is when I have to hung or fold the laundryThose are actually others daily duties that I equally despise.I am afraid this ,also prove that mathematic is not my strength subject.Never was and never will be:if I have to shoot my feet for any of each task ,above mentioned and despised,I should in fact have three feet.I am a very ordinary woman instead.I only have two feet:one each leg!
I have been a spinning top inside my head too.Not only because my mind was overflowing with things to do that I have to categorize and order based on priority and dead line but also because my mind was overwhelmed with worries about my husband well being.It seems now,that there is an infection in the wound.Nothing we can really do about it till tomorrow,when the stitches will be removed and we will see for sure what is going on.I am rushing from thought to thought and from place to place. It is Thursday night ,I nearly made it through the week.I know I won’t sleep well tonight because I will be dreading tomorrow morning,what the doctor will say.
The to do list is nearly all accomplished. November is usually already a busy month without any emergency surgery.A ‘s birthday is next week.There is a party to be organized and presents to be bought.We never give our kids presents for their birthdays,our present is their party.They are anyway receiving so many presents that they really don’t need more.The presents I have to buy are the one on behalf of the grand parents ,the great grandparents and their aunt .This is much easier then shipping them or bringing them over .If Nana comes over we pretend she carried them with her ;if she doesn’t I just pretend they arrived by post .November is also the birthday month of my grand dad and my aunt so I need to take care of their presents too.Buying them and shipping them a bit in advance so that they will have them in time.Of course a couple of school mates have their birthday in November too:more presents to buy and parties to attend.
Last but not least of our task for this week was the shoe box appeal.Our school does it every year.It is not compulsory but since the girls started school we are doing it .Last year we were too late to leave our parcels in school and we had to go all the way to Dublin to deliver our boxes.The dropping place was an old bus not in service,very original location.At the end it was a sort of adventure and an excuse for a girls treat in town.They are now old enough to participate at the preparation of the boxes and to understand the message and value behind it. I like them to be aware they are lucky to have what they have and to live where they do.I don’t want them to be paranoid but I think they must be aware of the different situations in the world.I know many people think this kind of initiative are spoiled by financial interests and the actual recipients of our charity will be never reached but, we have to trust somebody or we will never do anything for anybody.I am trying to rise my girls with compassion.I am trying to teach them compassion and this seems a practical way to do it.We pick together what to send and they have to buy a treat for the receiving kids with their own pocket money.Something they would like for themselves:something they decide to give rather then to keep.Something small,it doesn’t matter ,it is the gesture.The first time I asked them to do that I wasn’t sure about their reaction.I was wrong.They understood exactly what I meant and why I was asking them to doit.No objections were ever made.Since the beginning they gave willingly.They are not saints and they can be very possessive of their things but,this is different.I will be honest,this makes me proud .It makes me feel successful as a mother.I know it sound presumptuous but,looking at them wrapping happily their boxes and feeling good to do some good,tells me I am passing them some values.It tells me I am on the right path to teach them compassion.
I am driving home.Only CG in the back seat.She is telling me the latest notes she learned at fiddle lesson.I am already thinking the agony for my ears when we will get home and she will start practicing.The sea is at my back.The green fields are surrounding me.The sky has that unique light only visible just before dusk:no dark ,no bright.It was a lovely day,the sun shine through all day.Some clouds started to populate the sky only now.I have a big agglomeration of them in front of me but they are not white ….they are pink.They are like an enormous Aladdin’s rug made of cotton balls stitched together.I am driving up the hill.The impression is that I am driving into them.It is a spectacular view.A view that for few minutes makes me forget about all the things I still have to do.A view that for few minutes stop my head from spinning and freeze al my worries.