Driving in the dark always had some fascination to me.To be totally honest, everything in the dark acquires some charme.In my mind dark is equal to warm and cosy.Warm lights and candles lit inside the houses.May be a fire on too,illuminating the room and playing his music made of crackling pieces of wood. What I like most of Autumn is the embrace of the nightfall that comes early in the afternoon and infuses every ambience with calm.I feel entitled to slow down when dark comes.My state of mind automatically switch from the hecticity that characterised the whole day to a soothing pace.My mind is at peace and as much contradictory it can sound I am more productive because I am calm focus and relaxed.I do rush no longer.Many complaint that the arrival of an early twilight depresses them.Not me,on the contrary.Dont get me wrong.I love summer evenings when day light is up until late. It is fun and invigorating but it is not warm and cosy and, after months of that I need darkness.I suppose the secret is that we are so lucky to have them both: so to never get bored of one or the other.That is probably why we have the cycle of seasons.Universe and Mother Nature are perfect in their structure.We too often forget this.We can only enjoy the light because we also have the dark.We can only enjoy the good because we also have the evil.
I am driving to the hospital on my own tonight.The girls are back at my darling neighbour .I didn’t give her the whole week end off after all .Buying her a present is in my to do list for next week.She well earned it.The traffic is no bad at all.It’s saturday night and I was not expecting anything else.What I was not expecting was the army of teen ager greedily experiencing their first taste of “nocturnal”freedom.The village’s road is dark and they are walking on the side of the road.Most of them wearing nothing reflective and on the wrong side of the road.I take a turn and a bunch of them suddenly appears in front of me.I would like to turn down the window and shout them to go on the other side of he road:”did your mother not teach you to always walk on the opposite side of the cars?For foke sake you are countryside kids…you should know better”.I also think about using my horn but then I live it.I think that A will probably be doing the same in few years.A scary image fills my head but then I think,she wont.She will remember her mother’s swearing at those who don’t respect the roads rules endangering themselves and others and she will be smarter. She will walk on the right side of the road.
I am nearly at the hospital waiting for the traffic light to become green and the moon stood in front of me.Shine and low,nearly reachabe.It is a full moon and tonight light mist makes it look like there is a thin veil covering it.It is a paint;a poster of a old black and white movie.It is beautiful,I only hope it will let me sleep.I never sleep well when there is full moon.I suppose this time it won’t make much difference because since the traveling husband is in the hospital my sleep is not the best.
The hospital is quiet.So much crowded it was yesterday and so much quiet it is today.Week end is week end,also for the most loyal visitors…except for a loving and caring wife of course!He was in bad form yesterday but today he seems a bit better and the temperature went down.I guess the first two day he was too good.Probably because still staffed with heavy painkiller.Recovery wont be that brief.
I leave the hospital slightly more reassured about his health conditions.I am driving back home.I am passing a residential area.I find the row of red brick terraced house, with their multicolour doors,particularly pleasant to look at.The lights are on and from the road you can see inside the windows.I like to peep.I wonder who lives in there;what they do;are they happy?What is the story behind that painting hanging over the mantelpiece?Has it been inherited?Has it been bought in some antique’s market or has it been painted by the lady of the house? When it is dark outside and the warm lights inside are visible,a feeling of cosiness embrace me fully.I can’t stop looking and wondering with my thoughts.It is an irrepressible impulse.I am not nosy, I just have an extremely romantic vision of the concept of “home” and when dark comes I unleash my fantasy so that it can play with it.As I said before in other posts,I am a nester.An incurable romantic nester.Nothing I can do about.I then ask myself if the ones who look at my house from outside will think and feel the same.Hopefully yes.I want to emane cosy feelings too for my spectators.Unfortunately, this habit of mine of peeping inside the house and wonder with my mind, is a very dangerous one while driving.Big horn from behind:the traffic light is green and I am not moving:”of course I am not moving. have you seen that living room?”.I am afraid the driver behind me is neither a nester nor a mind wanderer.I engage the gear and go.I am mortified:I am usually the one who bip at traffic lights.Unnecessary to say that after this I will think twice before doing it again.I feel pressure now.I start speeding just to show the bossy non nester driver behind me that I am not a slow driver.I delayed to go at the traffic light not because I am an incompetent driver but because I am a distracted driver:I was lost in someone else’s home and in someone else’s life.In my defense,I specify that I wouldn’t be bother to get lost in someone else’s “house”,it must be a “home”.Every home is different.Every household is different.There might be similarity but every home plays by its rules.In every household there are habits,rules,routines and, most importantly ,there are rituals.Rituals are built up in years and years.They are built out of complicity and love.They make a home,a household,a family and a couple unique.The little daily rituals hidden behind closed doors are not boring routines.They are the essence of being harmoniously together.
I am home.I am finally curled up on the sofa still infused with warm and cosy sensations from my road trip through lit windows.My lap top open in front of me. A vanilla bean candle burning on the table. A nearly empty glass of japanese whisky in my hand.Its fire in my stomach and its bitter aroma still in my mouth ,fusing with the sweet taste of some chocolate,dark:what else!
This is my personal saturday night ritual.