Wednesday evening:the girls are on their way to bed.The dogs are barking like crazy at the kitchen window as my neighbour just passed with her dog.I have eventually locked myself in the study in the hope to write.The traveling husband just rang:he landed alive and safe.He is in Rome.He did touch ground at home for a day and then left again.A glass of californian rose’ and Michael Kiwanuka to keep me company:”Cold Little Heart”,is playing.I became obsessed with this song after i saw the tv series “big little lies”.The book is still one of my favourite from Liane Moriarty but,the tv series was a such disappointment when I saw the first episode.None of the characters were like I had imagined them.Madeline,my Madeline,my favorite character of all,didn’t get any credit.The woman I day dreamt to be for all the time I was reading the book was not the one pictured on the screen.She was a dull character not the one I felt in my head.With the second episode things started to go a bit better and with third one they were good:The characters acquired their thickness and their intensity.By the end I truly enjoyed the show and I hated the last episode.I hated it simply because it put an end to my imaginary life in a parallel dimension.
Back to reality this coming week end is going to be a long busy week end:school halloween disco on Friday evening,house party on Sunday,Trick or Treat on Tuesday.
First year we went to the school disco it was held in a room in one of the sport clubs in the village.There were chairs spread in circle all around the room so that the parents,obviously in the dark,could sit and watch their kids in the middle dancing .The music was played by a magician occasionally dj too,I will leave any comment.I sat and kept to myself.We were in the school only for one year at the time and I didn’t know many people.Sitting beside me there was the father of two girls destined to become my daughters best friends.He looked at me and said:”this is exactly my idea of living hell”.It has been love at first sight.I wanted to get up and hug him.A normal person he was!A human parent who honestly said he was actually not enjoying that torture.I felt relieved I was not the only one feeling like i was there because i had to.All around us there was,instead,enthusiastic moms fibrillating at the music pace and feeling blessed for the ecstatic experience their kids were living.Well,in fairness, it was fun for the kids.Super fun until someone ‘s glow in the dark band broke and he swallowed the luminous liquid. His lips were luminous yellow,he looked hilarious and even the most responsible parents couldn’t help but laughing.The poor little guy was terrified at the idea of being poisoned and started to cry. The mother,who cleverly thought she could just drop the kids and go, was nowhere to be found.In the end he has been easily distracted with a bag of treats:weather they are dogs or kids,treats always work.
Second year of halloween disco was a success, for me and the travelling husband indeed.Taking advantage of a friend who was staying, we drop the girls at the disco and went for a pint in the pub just beside.One of those very small old fashion pub.Only few stools around the bar counter and few tables with old leather armchairs.Actually,we met many parents from the school in there so, obviously, we were not the only one relying on someone else to look after the kids.I bet we were not the only ones to think it was the most successful school halloween disco either.Unfortunately it seems that it was not that successful at all:the dj was crap ,the room a bit too dark and too small.We couldn’t know.To us was still a fun night.
For this year halloween disco I responsibly offered to help.The travelling husband won’t be back until friday late night anyway.No pub in any case.
A is going to be a zombie like last year.Easy peasy:we recycle the outfit and I only have to rewind my brain and redo the same make up I did last year that,modesty a part,was quite good.CG ,that is currently in her unicorn phase,initially wanted to be a dead unicorn.I discouraged the idea terrified of how I was going to make the corn and make it stick in her forehead.Also,unicorns are fairy world creature,you don’t transform them in zombies.It would be like to shoot mama fairy on one of her feet.Thinking back the idea of the dead unicorn was not too bad.The idea she came up after,in fact, was even worst and she stack with it.She is going to be a dead seventies dancing queen.When she told me I had an immediate impulse to hug her and congratulate her for the fantasy and the originality.Once the instant of maternal proudness past, I was left with a total empty brain about how to make the costume. Will i dress her like a dead ABBA?Where do I find a seventies kid outfit?The father said that this ideas come up because i make them listen seventies music all the time.He also says that I am a rarity who still listen at Janis Joplin , Jimi Hendrix etc etc. I say he is just music wise ignorant.No harm on singing together Mrs Robinson on our way to school in the morning! Anyway, one thing about the costume was certain since the beginning:she must have big curly hair.No room for negotiation on this. In the coloring book she has, dico girls have big curly hair.We got the wig and we got a kind of seventies dress and high knee socks with stripes on the upper part.We have big round earrings and zombie makeup….that will have to do and,what better place then a halloween disco to test the look?
I love halloween.I grew up in a country where it was not celebrated.When we moved to Ireland was my chance to do everything I only saw in the movies until then.Even if we had no kids at the time the house was decorated and treats ready for the neighbourhood kids coming around.When the girls came along it was my chance to go trick or treat too.I still do it with them and,as my eldest one is turning 11,I am starting to wonder what is gona be for me when they will be too old to go trick or treat with their mother?A real tragedy….will i have to wait for grandchildren to go trick or treat again?
I heard over the years many critics against the Halloween celebrations considered macabre and at times disrespectful.To those I replay that where I grew up Halloween is not celebrated.The first of november is celebrated it is the day when the long lost relatives gather together to go to cemetery to pay respect to their loved ones.Flowers prices are increased of 30/40%.People who normally don’t give a tough to their late relatives cry over they graves.Family members that are not seen for the whole year are met,gritted and,of course,spoken bad behind their back once they have left.Is this less macabre or less disrespectful?I don’t think so.
Life is cycle and dead is a part of it.Acceptance is the key to ease the pain of a loss.