I read a post about self acceptance and I identify myself very much in it.
In particular the post’s author was saying how self acceptance creates authenticity and I cannot agree more. Most of my life I struggle with self acceptance.The whole me was never satisfying:my character,temper, as much as my physicality.It was so eradicated in me that I got to a stage where I was not even trying to overcome this feeling of being inadequate or judged anymore; to me it became a trait of my personality and ,like most people do ,I put in place my own cope mechanism.
To tell the true ,it was a very common one: I started to wear a mask,I create my own character who ,of course , was determined and strong. In a word very much self confident .I didn’t mean to deceive the people around me maliciously,it was more my way to cope with daily life and it suited me it worked…..for a while.People around me were happy.My mother had a perfect daughter,my husband had a strong independent wife who needs help in nothing……”she can manage”. Sometimes I couldn’t say where it was fictional and where it was not. I suppose I kind of identify myself in this part I was playing.Now,don’t get me wrong there was a lot of me in it but there was also a lot of pretending. The problem is when you pretend for too long,you will end up believing your own lie, until the day comes that your inner you and even your body rebel.I had panic attacks,i was constantly tense,unsatisfied,bitter. I had three car accident in 1 month……Something had to change…..ME. I felt exhausted,physically and mentally .I was the problem and I was the solution. It took a while,and I believe that the journey to self acceptance never finishes,but I made it through .I liberated my real me,I brought back what I was once and mix it with what I became as result of my life experience. I am not like my mother,I am not like my father, I might got some personalities traits from them but I am my own persona : I am made from my own experiences and beliefs .The life I live defines me. I stopped trying to please everybody,because that is not possible and not right. I started to please Me,because It is the only way to please the others too and truthfully. I took off my mask ,drop my character and started to be just me:take it or leave it,for me included, and I take it. I like being me.I like the spontaneity that came with it. Of course I left a lot people disappointed but unfortunately that’s the price to pay.If ever my daughters would ask me for advice ,the only one I would give them is to be always themselves. It doesn’t worth to put a mask on to hide our imperfections and our fears because sooner or later that mask won’t make us breath.There is no need to pretend to be better then we are because once we are ourselves we are also unique,authentic in our feeling,emotions,actions thinking and authentic will be the love,trust and esteem will be given.